Klobb

Lore & Background

The Klobb is a submachine gun that appears in *GoldenEye 007* as a standard-issue weapon for low-level guards and a starting option in some multiplayer loadouts. Its design is loosely based on the real-world Skorpion vz. 61, but its performance is deliberately underwhelming—a joke with a trigger. The weapon's name is a nod to Ken Lobb, a Nintendo of America executive who worked on the game's development. According to developer anecdotes, the gun was intentionally made weak as a playful jab at Lobb, who was known for his demanding feedback during production. The result? A weapon that fires faster than anything else in the game but hits like a thrown marshmallow. In the single-player campaign, the Klobb first appears in the 'Facility' level, clutched by guards who seem to be the universe's worst shots. Its low stopping power means you'll need a full magazine to drop a single armored enemy—and even then, you might run dry before they do. This makes it a poor choice for later levels where enemies wear body armor like it's going out of style. Still, the Klobb's high rate of fire can be used to suppress opponents in multiplayer, though its inaccuracy at range means you're basically firing a loud, angry cloud. The Klobb's notoriety has grown over the years, becoming a meme within the *GoldenEye* community. Players joke about its uselessness—how it's the weapon you pick up only when everything else is gone, or when you want to make the game harder on purpose. It's frequently cited as one of the worst weapons in video game history, a badge of shame that somehow became a badge of honor. This reputation has cemented its place in gaming culture as a symbol of underpowered firearms, a reminder that even in a world of spies and explosions, some guns just suck.

In Their Own Story

The alarm blared. Bond ducked behind a crate as bullets whizzed overhead, chipping the concrete. He had only the Klobb, its plastic grip slick with sweat and already warm from the last pathetic burst. He squeezed the trigger—the gun chattered, spitting lead in a wide, drunken arc. One guard stumbled, clutching his shoulder, but two more advanced, their boots echoing. The Klobb's magazine ran dry with a hollow click. Bond cursed, fumbling for a fresh one as the enemy closed in, their laughter almost audible over the chaos. The weapon's weakness was a cruel joke, but it was all he had. He slammed the magazine home, the plastic clicking into place, and fired again—praying for a miracle, knowing he'd need one.

Reader's Guide

The Klobb is a submachine gun that fires 9mm ammunition from a 20-round magazine. It has a high rate of fire but low damage per shot, making it effective only against unarmored enemies at close range—and even then, you'll need to empty half the clip to be sure. Its accuracy is poor, with bullets spreading widely even in short bursts; aiming down sights helps, but only a little. The reload time is painfully slow, leaving you vulnerable during the animation—a long, deliberate slap of the magazine that feels like an eternity. In the single-player campaign, the Klobb is best used as a backup weapon against weak guards, such as those in the 'Runway' and 'Bunker' levels. It is ineffective against armored enemies like the ones in 'Control' or 'Caverns,' where a more powerful weapon is needed—unless you enjoy emptying three magazines into one guy. In multiplayer, the Klobb can be used for suppression or to finish off wounded opponents, but it is generally outclassed by other weapons like the KF7 Soviet or the PP7. Its one saving grace: the sheer volume of fire can make enemies flinch, buying you a second to retreat or switch to something better. The Klobb's primary use is as a starting weapon—a reminder that not all guns are created equal, and that sometimes, the best strategy is to run away.

Did You Know?

• The Klobb is named after Ken Lobb, a Nintendo of America executive who worked on *GoldenEye 007*. The weapon's poor performance was an inside joke among the developers—a playful middle finger in the form of a gun.
• In the game's multiplayer mode, the Klobb cannot be dual-wielded without the 'Dual Wield' cheat—no matter how many players select it. Without the cheat, you're stuck with one angry bee at a time.
• The Klobb's design is based on the real-world Skorpion vz. 61, a Czechoslovak submachine gun, but its in-game stats are entirely fictional—because no real gun should be this bad.
• Despite its reputation, the Klobb has a faster rate of fire than any other weapon in *GoldenEye 007*, making it a unique choice for players who prioritize volume over accuracy. It's the weapon equivalent of shouting 'pew